It's not what it sounded like
by Nevar216
Summary: Hello all Nevar here and I have found a Beta she has up dated this story to funny goodness. So without Further ado here the new updated verion of It's not what it sounded like now with febere. And A really big thank you to my beta Akikazu THANK YOU!Inuay
1. It Not About Them

**It's Not What It Sounded Like**

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, do we really own any thing is this life a dream or are we the dream dissipating on the wake of the morrow a corner of cold to whip from the eyes of the morn.

Just kidding I don't own and you know this and if you didn't you deserve to read that statement.

Authors note:

( ) Mean when someone is thinking to them selves.

"..." mean when no one has any thing to say or to reply or statement made by someone else.

... Means pause in talking

Everything else is talking to the reader.

Chapter 1. It Not About Them... But You Have To Start Somewhere

It a lovely day in the Warring State's Era the birds were singing the sun was shining and Inuyasha was being sat...

It all stared out like it normally did, Kouga showed up with the remainder of his wolf pack trailing a great distance behind him. He went and made a bold statement about Kagome, which in turn led Inuyasha to make an even sharper statement about Kouga.

And usually Inuyasha would, for some reason he can never put his finger, run out of crude and dirty things to say before Kouga did. He chalked it up to Kouga be a fiend, but didn't leave it at that.

Accepting that he was never one who was good with words, Inuyasha preceded to hand the accursed wolf his ass on a plate. (And what a plate it would be. It wouldn't be like your mother fine china... Nothing so pretty as that. It would be that ugly shit that you buy for your cousin who didn't invite you to her wedding but invited you to the reception, so that she could still get the gift. And you get drunk and kiss the groom and he really doesn't mind till you tell him her ass is just going to get larger and larger. Of course he would be a little skeptical about it so you would make a point of her mother and grandma, after which he starts to look all panicked and you let it slip that her wearing white is total bullshit... Really you pull him to the side and you say out of the blue "if she can wear white then I a surgeon" ...but I divagate from the principal ideal) Inuyasha was about to kick Kouga ass but like always and Kagome steped in a save his sorry ass like always. He would remember to lament about that later for unlike all the times, when she delivered the sits Kouga came with him and now he's here straddling the enemy. Lament indeed rampage and maybe a little lunacy just for good measurement.

She then proceeded to leave him there on top of Kouga, as if they where in some lucid love affair. If anyone was to happen up on them what would they think? What if it happened to be Sesshoumaru of all people? Inuyasha could practically hear the utterance of words and accusations. Yet another thing his half-brother could throw at him at a later avenue. So he did the only thing he could do at time like this...

"Kagome you bitch come back here and help me get off this accursed wolf!"

He knew she was only human but also knew, for damn sure, that she heard him but she stormed off leaving him atop a wolf that was, to Inuyasha horror, starting to sport an extremely noticeable wood. In that moment he forgot the governing rule for all males be they demon or human, the rule that states that all male at some point in there live must for the deflating of the ego and, because God does indeed have a sense of humor, (just look at the faces people make when they have sex and if that doesn't prove the point just listen to the noises) plus it makes for the good reading when writing a fanfiction.

And so they lay there Inuyasha hoping that no one happens by (but you know they will) also would praying that this wasn't a fanfiction featuring a Kouga and Inuyasha pairing.

Kouga, on the other hand, was thinking how sexy Kagome was when she got mad and wishing that Inuyasha senses were as dull a mongrel that sucks as bad as he did should be, too bad he was very wrong about that assumption...

"Hey you bastard I don't swing that way!"

"... Wha! What I don't like you that way mater fact I don't like you at all!"

Inuyasha pulls up to look down at the situation...

"... Rrrrrrright..."

"Well I don't..."

TBC...

Please Review


	2. With Friends Like These

**It's not what it sounded like**

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, are you happy now you just take and take and take and I give and give and you never take me out or talk to me any more I just don't see where this relation ship is going. I think we should just read other fanfiction we could be friends I'll read you fiction but I won't review what kinds of a girl you take me for...

Authors note: ( ) Mean when someone is thinking to them selves. "..." mean when no one has any thing to say or to reply or statement made by someone else. ... Means pause in talking everything else is talking to the reader.

Chapter 2: With friends like these...

In another part of Inuyasha forest you find a fuming Kagome heading toward the well, when she finally happens up on it she'll find a monk in agony, which goes by the name of Miroku. To her surprises he's not his usual hey I got something you can pull and it not my finger self. He really looked like he was in pain, so swallowing her suspicion and she headed over to the pained monk to help in his moment of need hoping that she wouldn't have to regret it.

Else were in the story Inuyasha sits has just warn off and boy did he have a bone (pun intending) to pick with Kagome. To his happiness and appalling nausea Sesshoumaru was not the one that found him and Kouga, in they're compromising position thank the god he never believed in. To bad it was Sango and those two idiots Kouga calls a pack.

" ... Fuck! ..."

Ten minutes they just could be their slow selves and wait ten more minutes. They wouldn't have been entangled in each other person, it would have never been spoken of again. He would have taken this to hell, but no now they stand here trying to explain to there mutual friends that it's not what it looks like and that it was all Kagome fault.

Kouga thoughts and word exactly...

"... Double Fuck!..."

(But not in that manner and definitely not with dogshit.)

Kouga loved Kagome yes, but to lose face because of that lovely yet misplaced temper of hers, so he agreed with dogshit for the moment, but if push came to love he would rebuke that statement if need be. So after some moments of total embarrassment, dishonor, deprivation of all masculinity he was off to find his woman and show her he indeed was the man or the de-man in this case. Inuyasha decided to take this course of action as well.

Inuyasha wish Sango didn't spend so much time fighting of Miroku advances and profaned remarks. She was starting to pick up his corrupt vocabulary. She was walking behind making casual remarks about him and Kouga. Some to the like that would make Miroku himself blush.

But of course she wasn't making fun of him or even Kouga for that matter (not directly anyways) she was throwing them out there for just anybody or maybe just for the amusement of Kouga two lackeys. (Thank god Shippou isn't here, Kagome would think I taught him all this shit.) Inuyasha looks back at the laughing group of ill mixed people. (With friends like these who need Naraku)

"Hey it wasn't what it looked like you twisted nuts."

"Yeah dogshit's right it wasn't that way at all bitches."

Sango only reply in a very Miroku manner...

"now Kouga we bitches have to stick together"

"..."

( She's Kagome's friend, she's Kagome's friend, she's Kagome's friend, she's Kagome's friend, she's Kagome's friend, she's Kagome's friend, she's Kagome's friend, she's Kagome's friend, she's Kagome's friend, she's Kagome's friend, she's Kagome's friend, she's Kagome's friend, she's Kagome's friend, and Kagome would be too happy if she just all of a sudden dropped dead at his feet.)

This was Kouga's thoughts and along the lines of Inuyashas as well.

They finally were almost to the bone eater well No thank to Sango and the other members of the wolf pack egging her on.

"... pore Kagome what's she going to think. First she finds Inuyasha with Kikyou now Kouga."

Inuyasha-

(... She's Kagome's friend, she's Kagome's friend, she's Kagome's friend...)

" and Kouga must have been using Kagome to get to Inuyasha all this time."

Kouga-

(... she's Kagome's friend, she's Kagome's friend, she's Kagome's friend, SHE'S KAGOME'S FRIEND!...)

They were just about out of the brush of Inuyasha forest when they heard Kagome talking to someone. That was Miroku, and what they heard had them shock to they very core, so much so that they we're glued to the spot they stood.

TCB...

I implore please review


	3. Be Gentle Kagome

It's Not What It Sounded Like

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, I don't even own a dog. On another note, please spay and neuter all your dogs...

Inuyasha: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Authors note:

( ) Mean when someone is thinking to them selves.

"..." mean when no one has any thing to say to a statement made by someone else. ...

… Means pause in talking

Everything else is talking to the reader.

Chapter 3: Be Gentle Kagome

Reasons...

The reason Miroku was in pain was because he had groped Sango butt yet again. What was caused the pain ...(the big baby), was the retaliation of Sango, and she just grabbed his staff and threw it at him. He caught it but got a big splinter in the process. And that was the reason...

How had she known that was what had happened? Well he hadn't come right out and told her that he had molested Sango. He had Sango going quite mad and put in that he was luck to get out off the situation with his life. He said with the grace of Buddha that he only wished that he could have saved Shippou. He went on to assure Kagome that Sango might have been under some spell of some kind or maybe even possessed by some low demon and if so he would avenge and protect her with Sango's very life.

"...Rrrright. Why not you life?" Kagome asked.

"Well lady Kagome it would be Sango wish to end her life rather than cause harm to those she... uh... loves."

"..."

"Why are you looking at me like that Kagome? Do you believe I do not speak the truth...? "

He was cut of before he gave the "I'm innocent speech."

"Don't give me that "I am but a faithful, hard work monk, simple monk" narrative I am not in the mood."

"Uh... lady Kagome do you wanna talk about?"

"No!"

"Come now it can't be that bad."

"..."

"Come on."

"...Inuyasha..."

"I was afraid you'd say that."

"... and Kouga."

"Enough said."

"Kagome?"

"Yes Miroku"

"Could you get the splinter out?"

Kagome smiled wickedly.

"Of course Miroku I am here to help you with you ever need..."

"A...hha...haaaaaaa... Kagome-sama please be gentle."

And that's where the madness and communication, or lack there of, started.

Inuyasha couldn't believe his ears. He almost felt sorry for Kouga, almost being the word. That soon past and he was back on the subject of himself where it always should be. He was thinking that maybe he was forgetting someone he looked back at Sango... (serves her right for all that shit se said earlier on.)

They were behind bush and a lot of trees on the outskirt of Inuyasha's forest, stuck to the grown not being able to talk out of shock, anger, betrayal or what have you, the emotional floor was open for any ones insight.

It's was Miroku who was most hated, no one believed their Kagome could be that vulgar. That was until they heard her exchange in the conversation.

"God Miroku that is the biggest thing I ever saw."

Kouga was mortified.

"I know lady Kagome it all Sango fault, but I knew she would be selfish and not help be ease my problem so I came to you to sooth my pain." Miroku offered with award winning smile.

Everyone looked at Sango it was Inuyasha that made the next statement.

"Just what were you to doing before you got here Sango? No wonder you mind and mouth is full of smut and innuendos."

Across for her Sango heard snickering.

" INUYASHA..."

Inuyasha flinched but the remembered Kagome was the only that could sit him so he offered her a fanged smile.

"Now the sword on the other foot."

"What...sword... I...it's not like that you have it all wrong... me and Miroku weren't doing any thing wrong... well I wasn't but he..."

"...Sure Sango I believe you."

"..."

"You know Inuyasha had one yesterday, he didn't think I knew but I did I think he got it from a tree he was sitting in."

Everyone looked at Inuyasha...

"A TREE!."

"I heard you like 'em stiff dogturd but that sick."

"..."

"Did you help him with it lady Kagome?"

"Believe me Miroku I would have like to help Inuyasha but he would never let me."

Ignoring all others around him Inuyasha mind went into deep Miroku mode.

"Really she'd do that with me." Wow maybe I should ask he next time I go into hea..."

"OVER MY DEAD BODY SHIT FOR BRAIN Kagome's my woman if any going to have it going to be me.

"Did you hear some thing Miroku?"

"No. Kagome not so hard! ... so what happened with Inuyasha's?"

"I don't know maybe he worked it out his self."

Everybody except Inuyasha.

"Hahhahahhahahhahahha...hahahha..."

" Or maybe he got Keade's help."

"The fuck...!"

Again everyone except Inuyasha.

"Hahhahahhahahhahahha...hahahha..."

"Miroku sit still just let me do it if I need you help I'll ask for it."

" Yes...oh ...ah...lllady Kagome."

"Oh sorry about that Miroku, but that was you own fault, mou keep you hand still."

" Well she's dominating today to day." Sango says sarcastically.

"You managed to get it in there really good didn't you Miroku."

"Not like that Kagome you're bending..."

"Don't be such a baby I have to bend back so it will slip out smoothly."

"I don't agree Kagome, I think that if you pinch and pull it would get it over with faster."

"Maybe I should just let you do it yourself and just watch and give you pointers."

"He corrupted her! I knew you couldn't take care of my women dogshit."

"She ain't yours wolf for brains."

Miroku pouts. "But I don't wanna!"

"Well okay but if you want my help I can't promise gentleness."

Miroku openly groans and whimpers.

"Why that bitch..."

"Stuff it dog turd it's allthat Monk's fault you can't blame Kagome, she the innocent."

"Quickly Kagome..."

"No Miroku, you have to take your time with these things and go slow or else..."

"I...I... don't think I can't take this much longer ...Kagome." He answered her trying to bite back the pain.

" Kagome please..."

" I am working as fast as I can Miroku just relax."

Not so far away in the bushes and be hind some tree the forgotten where think along the line of...

Maybe Kagome was not so innocent, and was she really that skill... And Kouga was thinking along the lines of killing everyone...

" Almost there, almost there..."

"Kag...ommmmmmme..."

Miroku screams.

"Got it..." She sighs in relief.

Miroku breathing and huffing in his on relief thanking the gods that it's over with.

"Are you okay now?"

She asks Miroku who sucking on his finger with the biggest puppy dog eyes shed' ever seen.

"It hurt now. I think you damaged it and it all swollen."

"I think I did that pulling it out, sorry.

Pout

"Stop looking at me like that! Do you want me to do? Awww want me to kiss it and make it better."

"...Well yes if you volunteer."

"... Well happy now."

"Yes."

"Here I believe that yours."

"Thank you again lady Kagome."

Tbc….


	4. Idle Mind Not Hands Are The Devil

**It's not what it sounded like**

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha . . . That is all . . .

Authors note: ( ) Mean when someone is thinking to them selves. "..." mean when no one has any thing to say or to reply or statement made by someone else . . . Means pause in talking Everything else is talking to the reader.

Chapter 4: Idol mind not hands are the devil instruments

This shit has to be a dream it couldn't be real, if it was his woman just services the dammed monk.

...She kissed it, she offered and she kissed it.

All was wrong with the world. Nothing fit Inuyasha couldn't believe it and if he didn't hear it first hand he wouldn't have. And she kissed it who knows where it's been he's probable stuck that thing some everywhere and . . . and . . . and she kissed it.

Sango could not believe her friend.

"She Kissed it . . . "

Inuyasha and Kouga . . .

"YES WE KNOW SHE KISSED IT."

Kouga was beyond mad he clenched his fist until his palms bleed.

" Fuck this shit I going to get my bitch and then I going to kill that monk."

" You I told you she not your woman I'll get he and she got some explaining to do."

The group all together decided to break up Miroku and Kagome little liaison. They all made a mad dash to the bone eaters well but Inuyasha, Sango and Kouga in their excitement got tangled up in one another and toppled over onto each other in that order given. So now Kouga was at the bottom Sango in the middle facing Kouga and Inuyasha on top and somewhere in the mix the wolf tribe disappeared. We can call it magic or instinct, but it was self preservation. They unlike the three interlopers where demons that didn't have any emotional gain in the situation or loss for that matter but the other did and this bought them from the realness of the fact that

1. Kouga and Inuyasha were demons to.

2. They couldn't smell any thing like arousal or sex.

3. Inuyasha and Kouga should have Know.

So they were gone knowing Kagome's really bad temper.

" I knew I heard something in the forest Miroku do you think it's a demon."

"Stay behind me Lady Kagome and let us see."

They made there way over to the trees and behind the bush and heard groans and gasps. Miroku was the first to voice his surprise. Well he really wasn't surprised he was hurt. Hurt in the way that said why wasn't I invited. He would have voiced it to but Kagome happened upon the sene and gasped.

" Why am I always on the bottom?"

Was Kouga complaint not noticing Kagome or the smirking monk? So Miroku being Miroku had to say something after all, he only got a world of pain and a kiss on the finger. These people where having the real fun.

"Kouga, Sango I socked, and Inuyasha I thought you where my friend."

Sango looks up.

"It's not like that you see we . . . "

"Keh . . . Monk, your one to talk you were off fucking Kagome."

"Wait till I get up from this monk I am going to kill you for touching my woman."

Miroku could only chuckle, so that how they got into this mess they mistook what Kagome was doing to me. Then he replayed the event in his head and inserted the innuendo in the Only way no one but Miroku could and the product had him upon cloud nine until Kagome shrill screams sent him crashing back down to earth into the already tangled masses of friends enemies or allies. Whatever they may be they weren't friends to the now livid Kagome.

"How dare you?"

She points at the accused fiends helps Miroku up and starts in again.

"How dare you accuse me of such a thing? I expect the type of thing fro Miroku, but not you three.'

Miroku in is wisdom left that lapse in her judgment alone.

"Keh . . . we heard you, bitch you can't deny it now . . . Oh Miroku that so big, and so on. Made me wanna puke."

"Hey get you hand off my ass."

Sango said popping Inuyasha in the face with the back of her hand.

"Sorry I trying to get up geeez."

Kagome was flaming, Miroku could fill the heat radiate of her and decided that now would be a good time to leave. But Kagome grabbed his had in an almost bone crush grip.

"You see this, Miroku got a splinter in his finger from his staff and the big baby couldn't get it out himself."

"Hey"

"Shut up Miroku"

"..."

The entangled group all diverted their eyes with guilt. They looked anywhere but in Kagome direction. Trees where that more fascinating, rocks have never seem more alive, Sango realized that Kouga had ice blue eyes, Inuyasha realized finally what a compromising position he was in with Sango. Kouga really didn't want to be the one on the bottom. Those thoughts were cast to the wait side. Inuyasha was the first and only one to be untangled.

"Kagome I can explain . . . I . . . We misunder . . .

" Sit sit sit sit SIT!"

She stormed of to the bone eaters well to the future to her mother to sanity. Leaving in her wake amused monk, two humiliated demons, one and a half if you wanna get technical, and a shamed demon slayer crushed in the middle of the two.

Did I forget to reiterate the ever male rule? ...

" Hey Inuyasha When does the spell wear off yours and Kouga sword hilts are poking me."

"..."

"..."

And Miroku laughter could be heard throughout Inuyasha forest.

The End

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